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Dear Men Who Murder Women....


Stop.


There are some of you today who haven't murdered a woman before but at some point over the next year you will. We know this because men do it every year. Lots of you do it. In the UK between 2009-2018 at least 1425 women have been murdered by you.


Women find your names in the newspaper. We deliberately hunt for you online to expose you. So that you aren't hidden away by other men. We see your twisted, ugly, faces or your blank uncaring smiles and we hate you hard and fast. We hate what you have done to beautiful women you should never have been allowed anywhere near. We shudder when, sometimes, we have to look at her beside you and wish we had got to her before you killed her. We feminist women are trying, defiantly, to stop you. We have projects to honour your victims. We have strategies to help identify and expose you before you kill. We have developed a myriad of ways to try to help women break free. We fund services to help them when they do. We tend not to mention you much by name, but we think about how to stop you all the time. You should not underestimate us or how determined we are to either stop you before you kill, or see you in jail for a long time when you do. We are working around the clock to save the women you intend to kill. We are breaking women free of your control as you sleep. We won't give in. We will fight for women to stay alive and we will fight you with all the legal means at our disposal. We organise. We plan. We lobby. We invent. We reach out to women collectively and individually. We talk to each other. We have had decades of practise between us. So now you're aware of who we are, let's talk about a large proportion of you murdering men.


Lots of you will murder women you know. The woman you will murder might be your wife or partner, a new girlfriend or someone you just met on Tinder, your sister, your mother, your aunt, your grandmother, your female friend, or a prostitute you've bought to use. Some of these women will love you very deeply before you steal their life. Some of them once loved you, but came to be afraid of you because of how you behave. Some of them thought they had seen the last of your cruel, vicious face. Some of them knew you were coming and told people who should have helped them. Instead, the state institutions that should stop you, are making it easy for you sometimes, because they aren't looking at you hard enough. Feminist women are looking. We see you. We will point you out.


Some of you might be telling yourself she deserves it. She doesn't do as she's told. She answers you back. She doesn't do things as you would like her to. A woman is not your possession. She is as free to do as she pleases and say what she thinks, as much as you are. You have no right to kill her, so don't.


Perhaps you hate her choice of friends. That is ok. They hate you too. Perhaps if you had treated her better they wouldn't. They have their eye on you though. They will tell the police afterwards. It will help to convict you and lengthen the sentence when they tell how you controlled her and hurt her. You not liking her friends is because you don't like yourself and you know that they are seeing past the things you are telling her about yourself. They can see into you and through you. You aren't very nice are you? Your friends can't see it, but you can, every time you look in the mirror. You should change so you can face yourself. Murdering her won't change you, so don't do it.


You might be excusing yourself in advance. Your job is difficult, or you have no job and the stress of either needs a release. You had a bad childhood and the pain of that makes you angry at the injustice. You might be suffering depression. None of those things are the fault of the woman whose life you are about to take. Stop planning to kill her and think of how to heal yourself. Go somewhere and tell someone. Ring the Samaritans or a men's helpline. She is neither your stress toy or the outlet depository for your problems past or present. Don't kill her. Your problems will still be there.


You might be jealous and think she is seeing other men. Or that she might see other men. Or she looked at another man once. The problem is still yours. She is a free human being and if she does want to be with another man that is entirely her right and her choice. Living with you is probably like being in jail and sometimes a woman wants to be free and only another man looks like the option for her to do that. Most of the time you are using your jealousy as a way to torture a woman who has committed no act of infidelity at all. You know it and we know it. So either become a better man she wants to be with or let her go. Murdering her won't solve the feelings about yourself that you don't like. You'll just have more time to think how hideous you are whilst you sit and rot in a prison cell. Don't kill her.


You may think she is a bad mother. She will be a terrible one if you murder her. A woman brought you into this world. It was a totally selfless act of love which put her in great danger at the time. A woman who gave birth to children needs to be on this Earth to raise them. You couldn't get them here yourself without her, so respect that she did this. Leave them alone and let them have peace, to help each other grow after the hell of being around you. Don't murder her and certainly don't murder them.


You may see her as the devil, or a bad spirit or out to hurt you. You need help. Go and get it. Start at your GP perhaps. She isn't a devil. She is a woman. Don't murder her.


You may want vengeance because she left you and you think "How dare she?" You have a totally false sense of what you are entitled to in this world. A woman probably left you because you are quite hideous to be around. You should change that as fast as you can. It is no excuse to murder her and when you go to jail, as you should, no one will like you there either.


You may think she holds the answer to all your current unhappiness if she is your mother or grandmother; that she owes you. She isn't responsible for you turning into a murderer. You have become that man. She hoped and prayed you would be a better man. Why don't you be? She still loves you very much. It's impossibly sad that you don't care for her in the same way. Don't kill her.


You might be a psychopath, though few of you are, most of you are just plain old misogynists. I have no advice if you are actually a psychopath. Perhaps take up knitting miniature replicas of the Taj Mahal? If you kill a woman you'll hopefully spend a lot of time in jail and possibly all of your life.


You might think that she belongs to you because you pay for everything and you married her so you own her just like the house and the car. In all likelihood you control her like a prison warden. You say when she can go out or not. You think you can hurt her if you want to. You are wrong. No woman belongs to you. Taking her life won't make her yours. You will go to jail though. You will perhaps spend the rest of your life there. Unless you're the coward who commits suicide afterwards. Unfortunately lots of you survive. You're great at taking her life, but useless and weak when you have to hurt yourself. You'll be crying when the police get to you. That will be written in the papers the next day. It's why you hurt her and not your male friends or boss or any other men in your life. You are a miserable coward. Don't kill her, it might be the one thing that makes you feel more decent.


Perhaps she is not dressing as you would like. She won't look good in a coffin either. Don't kill her.


Maybe you think she became unworthy of you. She got fat or stopped having sex with you; she is ugly now or old; she doesn't interest you as much. She isn't a murderer though. That will be you and you aren't even special. There are lots of you in jail and they all thought they were clever enough not to be put there. You aren't. Don't kill her.


So I appeal to you, you current and potential murderers of women, to stop. Don't steal any more women from this world. A woman put you on this Earth and you have no right to remove a woman from it, that woman or any other. One day we will stop you more effectively, state institutions will listen to women and they will do their job much better. For now .... just know that we are watching. We are pulling together and we are pushing and pushing back at men like you. We are demanding changes to law and getting them. You can't strangle us for kicks, you can't claim it was a sex game gone wrong, you can't torture a woman mentally and emotionally and get away with it now, she can come for you after she escapes, in law. On International Women's Day we declare war on you and your murdering ways.


Stop.

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